Parents nowadays are always complaining about their kids. Especially, the teenagers.
“She is so misbehaving. I was never like that when I was her age.”
“He is always locked up in his room. Always lost in his own world and doesn’t talk to anyone. Makes me want to unscrew his door once and for all.”
“She is always sleeping. What on earth will I do with this girl! She barely takes any sort of interest in the household. Oh dear lord, what will her in-laws say about my training?!”
“No need to return back home if you don’t score at least 3A*s.”
These are some very common lines almost all the teenagers hear in their houses every day. Almost all the parents are annoyed by today’s generation. But have you ever once, sit back and thought, what led to this frustration, distress, misbehaviour, isolation and numerous diseases at such a young stage in your kids? The plain answer to this is, you, yourself.
Parents nowadays lack the sense of understanding to a dangerous extent. The kids instead of sharing their issues with them are rather scared to tell the truth that is eating them up with every moment passing by. Why? Because there is a fear of rejection. Being judged. Being laughed at. By their very own parents.
Majority of the parents proudly claim “Oh, we are very understanding towards our kids.” Or “My kids share everything with me openly.” Well, with all due respect sir/ma’am, you know bullshit about your kid’s life.
You don’t have an idea of half the impact your fights with each other leave on your kid. You may not have an idea of how your daughter splits her wrists every night just because she feels fat. You may not have an idea about the massive amount of cigarettes your son smokes out of depression just because he is scared to fail his exam and disappoint you. You may not have an idea that your rude, misbehaving daughter cries to herself every night just because she thinks she is not a good daughter. You may not know that your little girl sleeps a lot just to escape your taunts.
You see, there are two things you have to understand. Firstly, teenage is a strange phase consisting of numerous mood swings everyone has to go through, once in a lifetime. It leads some to frustration, some to depression, some to isolation and some to even recklessness. You went through it too but seems like you have forgotten your time. So secondly, as this time period is already hard on the kid, he demands support, understanding and attention instead of everyday taunts, scolding and constant comparison with other siblings.
The more you restrict a person from something, the more he does it. This is a natural phenomenon. This is the exact part where you are going wrong in parenting.
You have a daughter with a reasonable dressing but you still push her to wear what you approve of. You think that would make her dressing more decent? Oh, no. It will just annoy her and make her rebellious. Your kid scores decent grades with a B or C in one to two subjects but you still force him to get no less than 98% in every subject and leave all other hobbies. Oh, please. You won’t even be getting an 80% in the next term. Get ready for an F in two to three subjects this time. Not getting your kid the cell phone of his choice, putting up a different WiFi password every month would lead to them getting involved in family time? Oh, you wish. Intruding in your kid’s social life won’t keep them safe but make them even more secretive about their things. Forcing your kid into a profession he doesn’t fancy won’t lead to them making money and being successful but surely develops a whole lot of depression in them.
You see, it is you who is responsible for the state your kids are in today. You are judgemental but not understanding. You taunt them instead of consoling them. I can assure you, that even if one of my family members reads this, they would go all berserk and say all kinds of things like, “Haw haye, kessi baatein karti hai ye larki. Astaghfirullah.” Or “Tauba tauba, aaj kal ki bachiyon ka koi haal nahi.”
Anyway, saying that it’s only your child who is messed up, misbehaving and rebellious is just absurd. 90% of them are just as disturbed as 90% of you are doing parenting in the same way. I might be just 16, but I do really hope to do parenting better than the parents nowadays.
Author’s note: I talked to lot of kids my age in order to write this. It is my personal favourite as it is the truest I have ever been. I really hope you like it!