I thought about my life, with my legs dangling in the swimming pool, while smoking a cigarette. My life had changed. I had changed. The smoke full of nicotine, leaving my mouth in rings, was the clear proof of that. I smiled and extinguished the cigarette by smashing it with my palm on the ground beside me. Oh, how I used to loathe smoking.
My thoughts got disturbed when suddenly the phone in my back pocket buzzed and my automatic speaker called out the caller ID. It was Jack. I sighed and kept on ignoring the ringing. I had been thinking to leave him since a month or two. It was such a hard thing to do for me and therefore I wasn’t able to gather up the courage to do it. The thought itself, as well as the summer breeze blowing around me, made me shiver. I wrapped my arms around me and sniffed. I never thought I could be this weak.
What was now to leave, anyway? Nothing was left to leave anymore. He had given up upon us a long time ago. We were just ‘best friends’ now. He had broken up with me. because he had become a drug addict and thought I didn’t deserve him anymore.
His love for drugs more than me. Sometimes. I could never give him the joy and pleasure, the magic potion he injected into his veins every day, did. I hated myself for that. He was still in love with me and needed me more than ever. How I could I leave him this easily?
He used to be a different person. He never was as emotionless as he was now. He used to tease me and laugh with me. We used to compete with each other in basketball matches as well as school exams. Teased each other for being more cheesy. Danced on “there is a light that never goes out” and stole a few kisses. We were so unlike the teenage couples in our grade, The thought made me smile.
I did hate him, at times but I never regretted anything. I had a firm belief in the saying: “Never regret anything that once made you happy.” Once? He had made me the happiest. Every single day. I had the best of times with him. How could I, ever, reject that?
I just knew I had to leave him. I had all the words in my mind now, for the final goodbye. I wiped the tears travelling down my cheek, took out my phone and dialled Jack’s number.
“Hello, Cara?” Oh my god, I can’t wait to tell you what happened today.” He exclaimed. I nodded even though he could not see me. He was so excited to even hear my reply and kept on telling me about his basketball match. “Trust me, you are lucky to have the best basketball player as your best friend and…” he carried on. He had always been good at basketball. The best, in fact. I smiled. I wasn’t hearing what he was saying anymore. I cut the phone.
Although I knew what I wanted to say, at the important time I could not open my mouth. I was like his only friend. He told me everything. Shared everything. Who would be there for him if I left? Who would he share his sorrows and joys with? The answer to all those questions was no one. That scared me.
Oh, how I wished I had just another teenage crush on him and was not in love with him. I was his cure. He was my disease. I was saving him while he was killing me.
I walked back to my home as the sun had set. My phone was ringing and my thoughts were in a haze while I was laying on my bed, trying to concentrate on my book. It was funny how I used to love reading so much and now, even it didn’t interest me anymore.
I didn’t know what had struck me, but I shut the book and put it down. I picked up my phone and dialled Jack’s ID.
“Heyyyyyy Cara….” he slurred. I knew he was drunk. I would even miss his drunk calls, later. At that moment I knew I had to do it. I had to leave him. I had to leave him in order to live. I had to be selfish for this one time. I had to live. Not only for me but for the people who still cared for me and could not see me destroy myself.
I was on the verge of crying but somehow I managed to gather up the courage to leave him. I sighed.
“Goodbye, Jack. I hope you have a nice life ahead.” I never waited for his reply. I threw away the phone, which, fortunately, broke. I had left him. I had finally done it. My eyes welled up realizing what I had done.
I did not leave the house for a week. A week later, I bought a ticket to Australia and left. I have to leave this town, city and even the country, I thought. I could not resist the place I had have so many heart-wrenching memories in, anymore.
It was time to start a new life. I told myself. But, would I, ever, be able to erase these beautiful yet heartbreaking memories from my mind? That was what I did not have an answer for.
Author’s note: Wrote a story for the first time. Well, this is the last extract to a long story. Would you believe me if I tell you I wrote this in my English exam? Haha, I still don’t. I was sorta blank and had no idea what to write so well this idea popped in my mind. And guess what? I scored the highest in this part of my exam. Still, astounds me. I was rather expecting a psychological class after this, to be honest. This is a personal favorite. I hope you like it too!