Addicted to the love of my life.

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When darkness starts to invade light, in those sleepless nights. And the air around starts to scream in the name of loneliness.  You feel like giving up everything, all over again. Your entire chaotic, drastic life comes as an illusion to you. You don’t know what to do or what to think.  That’s when an unknown possession takes over you. A sudden strong feeling, stronger than your own will, thrives inside you. You got no other option. You NEED a pacifier. An appeaser.

Your endurance for pain has collapsed now. You can’t take this unseen, powerful feeling anymore. Something needs to free you from the tightening rope around your neck. This fanatical outburst inside, forces you to indulge in the acts you never wanted to.

Your cure. That prestigious cure, you praise and crave.

With every sip of liquor; or with every smoke you give off; or with every cut that slashes your skin and trickles blood out; OR with every injection of the ‘magic dust’ inside your veins, leaves you feeling alive. Free. You’re drowning in the abyss of pleasure. It all just makes you comfortably numb. You lose all them damn senses and find a new sensation. A better one. One which compensates for the unbearable pain. These appeasers have silky, soft hands but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it free of sorrow.

Everything that kills you makes you feel alive. The beautiful poison induced inside polluting your pure souls, separates all the truths and lies right in front of you. Every day you fade a little, leaving a scar of your existence behind, for the people who love you.

~You are dying slowly, deadly… Happily.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Never have I experienced any of this so I’m not sure if the write-up is actually good.  But I HAD to write on this. This write-up isn’t about me favoring drug addiction, cutting, self-destruction or going against it. It is about the feelings they face. The pacifier for my pain and distress is writing. I certainly loved writing it. I hope you like it too :’) It might suck but please, no hate. I would literally love feedback. I LOVE YOU ALL. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST READERS IN THIS WHOLE GOD DAMN WORLD. :’D

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